Friday, July 11, 2003 @ 02:15am | Entry no.247 | Canada? what's that all aboot? ||   mood    awake   || ||   music    "all this time" _ ichiban   || I'm mad at myself. I've just got to wonder what kind of girl I'm being right now. I've been listening to sappy love songs all night, and missing my sweetie, even though he didn't leave yet. Why on earth is he with me? Goodness, I'm completely horrible to him and I drive him insane, but we don't have fights, and he lets me be a complete bitch and vent out all my frustrations, and then after I'm making a complete ass out of myself, he comes and gives me a hug. This guy... ((smiles)). It's a good sign, when I'm just writing about him, and I've got this goofy grin plastered on my face. ((blushes)) I just have to figure out a way to entertain myself while he's gone. hehe... ((sings out)) Oh, Paatttt.... come sleep over! Kidding. I'll get in trouble if the wrong person reads this. [i.e. Kare. but the both of us, meaning Pat and I, agreed that we wouldn't, for your sake] Anyways, mummy dearest is still calling me up and leaving me voicemails that have me on the verge of either tears, or unexplainable, irrational rage. This time, it was tears again. She wants to know if I want to go to Canada to visit my family, and she's going to be bringing the little monkey with her. Why does my mother know all my weak spots? She goes right for the family angle. "If you don't want to see me, how about you at least see your family? The baby misses you And that last one goes right to the heart. ((falls down dead)). She'll be leaving the end of the month, and they'll be back sometime in mid-August. Do I want to go? It has been three years since I've last been up there, and it'd be nice to see my entire family, all my cousins and whatnot.. all fifty billion of them. I miss Canada like crazy. I loved it in Edmonton, and I think it was positively gorgeous up in Banff. My sweetie would have loved it there, because he's into camping and blah blah blah, and Banff has the most amazing view. I managed be on the lake, when the sun was setting over the mountains. That was truly breathtaking.. and then Adrian smacked me upside the head with the oar that he had. That silly thing didn't manage to ruin the day. I think it was the next day that we went climbing up a mountain. I wanted go to even further because I loved the view, but at the same time, I didn't want to, because I am a chicken. I am terrified of heights. Ah, I miss it there. So, do I want to go back up there? And endure the inevitable wrath of my mother? It's not like I can leave if she pisses me off. I'll be over 3000 miles from home. Tempting, so very tempting. I find it rather amusing that this trip comes up when I'm dating my sweetie. The last time we dated, I wound up going to Canada. Three years later, we're dating again, and the chance to go to Canada comes up again. Weird. On another note, I've been trying to get the proper pronounciation to a Japanese song that I want to learn. Why am I doing thing? Eh, no idea. It seems like something that'll keep me occupied. I feel like learning some basic Japanese. I pick up languages fairly quickly because I have an ear for those types of things. It's just that the Japanese language is just horrible to read because the words are not pronounced the way they're written. Confusing. I'll get through it though. The previous paragraph probably makes me a nerd, right? According to a certain someone, ((ahemcoughMIKEcough)), I'm a nerd. I don't think that it's so... wait, I probably am. But since when is that a bad thing? But, I don't see myself as a nerd. Perhaps a "geek" [and no, not the circus type of geek]. But only because I was in the band, and you get to be called a band geek, if you were in the school band. Okay, rambling now. I should probably end this. <33 toodles unburden your soul  ( memory/edit )

Friday, July 11, 2003 @ 07:27am | Entry no.248 | New layout. ||   mood    tired   || ||   music    an evening with kevin smith   || ((yawns)) I just spent the last 30 minutes updating everything and making the new layout all pretty. ((listlessly)) yay. I like this layout though; the color schemes pretty cute, eh? Aren't my skills just lovely? You've got the love Paintshop Pro, it's a really fun program to use to make pretty little things. I'm not making sense. I need some sleep. But this is so pretty. I originally wanted to use images from Ah! My Goddess, with the characters, Keiichi and Belldandy together, because that is a very cute anime series, but I couldn't find any that I liked enough to alter into a banner. So I found this image, and I thought it was very cute, and heck, I was just tired of looking through endless sites of anime and sifting through hentai too. This layout's incredibly simplistic, and very light. My first "not so depressing" layout. Anyways, I'm tired. I just realized I sound like a 12 year old on a sugar high. I feel like beating myself up. I'm going to pop in another movie, and try to get some sleep because I'm obviously not going to have any... great my mind's gone dead on me too. I'm just at a loss for words. Uh oh. Great. I just lost an entire day. For some reason, I thought today was Thursday. How did it get to be Friday already? Not a good sign. [note to self:: need more sleep!] Really leaving now. <33 toodles ( 4 ) deep dark secrets revealed  unburden your soul  ( memory/edit )